No coffee for Don today, minor oral surgery after the show. That’s not good. (Either one)
The horrors of a colonoscopy, upcoming for Don and Janet. Phantom has words of wisdom, and he just had the very same test administered.
Some discussion of a Hitler bistro 
in the Phillipines.
That leads to a postponed call to Tar Baby’s pancake house in South Carolina. Don Smythe takes over for this call.
Did Amy Schumer steal her closing jokes from her HBO special?
Don announces he misdiagnosed Elephantitis on Amy’s legs. He is still an uber fan.
A Schlomo Goldstein moment.
The finals of the “cover versions” of Stump The Stoop. Thx Gerry in Portland!
A not-so-fantastic PhoneScan, tho there wa an awarding of the DGS LobsterBib! Win yours tomorrow by calling the show today!
Don plays a few sports tapes, form Buffalo to Detroit to Mike Ditka farting live on ESPN.
PHANTOM NEWS&COMMENT HI-LITES:
* Phant starts with his “Crime Blotter”
* Eddie Murphy gets Mark Twain award, makes Cosby jokes
* Trump and Carson have requested Secret Service protection
* Lamar Odom, recovering
* Oprah Winfrey purchases Weight Watchers
* People going crazy after ESPN airs Star Wars trailer at halftime of MNF
* Blake Shelton suing In Touch magazine
* The “homemade clock looks like a bomb” kid visited the White House Monday night
Closing Song: I Saw The Light / Todd Rundgren
Total Show Run Time: 2:40
